NEED YOU NOW

Written by Jack Parker and Chris Tomlin

Time for me to step out on the water
Time for me to just loose my hold
And its time for me to leave here all that I’ve hoped for
Could you take me where I need to go

I am waiting for your love
I am reaching for your touch
Lost without you God reach down
I need you now, I need you now

© 2000 WORSHIPTOGETHER.COM SONGS / SIX STEPS MUSIC / ASCAP / Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing

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There will come a time when God will ask you to go out of your comfort zone, step out to the unknown and let go of your hold in your life.

Could you take me where I need to go? I need you now, I need you now!

THIS IS OUR GOD

Written by Chris Tomlin and Jesse Reeves

A refuge for the poor, a shelter from the storm
This is our God
He will wipe away your tears and return your wasted years
This is our God
Oh… this is our God

A father to the orphan, a healer to the broken
This is our God
And He brings peace to our madness and comfort in our sadness
This is our God
Oh… this is our God

This is the One we have waited for
This is the One we have waited for
This is the One we have waited for
Oh… this is our God

A fountain for the thirsty, a lover for the lonely
This is our God
He brings glory to the humble and crowns for the faithful
This is our God

Oh Lord...
You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
You are the One we have waited for
Oh… this is our God

© 2000 WORSHIPTOGETHER.COM SONGS / SIX STEPS MUSIC / ASCAP / Admin. by EMI Christian Music Publishing

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There is no one like our God.
He is the One we have waited for.
How could I love any other?

waiting in vain?

I'm just amazed with this 'waiting' thing.

I think I've been doing this 'waiting' thing most of my life.

...I waited to come out to this beautiful world (I was borne 2 weeks later than my mom's expected date of delivery)

...waiting... - e.g. in jeepney terminal, in fx terminal, in fast food chain, entrance in malls, in getting cash from ATM, in logging-in/out in the office, in getting water from the dispenser, in heating the food in the microwave oven, in crossing the street, etc.

Sometimes, oh rather most of the time, it's kinda boring when you are on the 'waiting' side. It makes you think "am I waiting in vain?" especially when the 'waiting' time takes longer than expected. But I'm sort of learning the 'art of waiting'. You'll wait because you choose to wait. And why you will choose to wait? Because you believe you will have what you've been waiting for.

When I look back in the past I remembered two turning points in my life where I can say "it's worth the wait!". I'm thankful to God that I made a right choice to wait for His perfect timing.

I checked a concordance to look for the occurrence of the word 'wait' in the Bible. The list of passages with the word 'wait' is quite long. I was wondering why Solomon didn't include a line like "a time to wait and a time to stop waiting..." in Ecclesiastes. Hmmm... But it is interesting to note that the King James Version (KJV) used the word 'wait' while the New International Version (NIV) used the word 'hope'. 'Wait' and 'hope' used interchangeably? Hmmm...

Isaiah 40:31 (KJV) "but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (NIV) "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Lamentations 3:25 (KJV) "The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him." (NIV) "The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him."

I just remembered the heroes of faith in Hebrews 11. They all waited in one way or another. Verse 39: "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised." What a great faith even if...

I will wait even if it'll take a lifetime.

"Gusto ko..."

“Gusto ko ng sports car…yung red!”
“Ito ang gusto ko!”

Ilan ito sa mga TV commercial ads na naalala ko tungkol sa “gusto”. Nakakatuwa si God kasi kahit sa mga ads na ito may mga bagay Sya na gustong sabihin, gustong ipahiwatig sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung pinapalabas pa yung mga ads na ‘yan pero ang mga ito ay nag-iwan sa akin ng mga aral na pinaaalala sa akin ni God paminsan-minsan.

Sa mga nakaraang mga araw, napansin ko na marami akong gusto…gustong gawin at gustong bilhin. Dati rati, hindi ko alam ang gusto ko, kasi nasanay lang siguro ako na kung ano ang nandyan ok na sa akin. Kahit sa prayers, minsan lang ako humingi kay God ng tiyak na bagay. Natututunan ko ngayon na gusto pala ni God na sinasabi sa kanya kung ano talaga ang gusto mo, lahat ng detalye, kumpleto kung pwede lang. Sa ganitong paraan malalaman mo rin na sinagot na pala ni God yung prayer mo. ‘Yan ang lesson ko dun sa first tagline ng commercial. Kasi kung matatandaan nyo hindi nasabi nung lalaki ang buong detalye ng request nya, binigay tuloy sa kanya kalahating sports car pero red in color naman. :) At kung maaalala nyo rin, kalahati kasi yung biscuit na binigay nya dun sa old lady di ba? Nakita ko lang dun na dapat buo ang trust natin kay God at walang pag-aalinlangan gaya ng faith ng mga tao sa Hebrews 11, kahit anong mangyari, kahit matupad man o hindi ang mga pinagdarasal nila, kahit sobrang tagal ng sagot ni God, buong-buo ang trust nila kay God. Sana nga lang ganon kadaling gawin ang lahat ng mga sinasabi ko noh! :) Syempre, dapat in accordance with God’s will pa rin ang mga request. Nakakatuwa talaga si God, sobrang galing nya. Sobrang pasensyoso Sya sa mga taong tulad ko na makulit at kung minsan ay matigas ang ulo. Palagi na lang ako, “Ito ang gusto ko…ito ang gusto ko…ito ang gusto ko!” Kulang na lang mag-rally ako kay God. :) Nakakalimot akong magtanong sa Kanya ng... “God, ano po pala ang gusto Nyong gawin ko?” o kaya naman “God, ano po ang gusto Nyo para sa akin?” Hay, minsan kasi nakakalimot ako na hindi na nga pala ako ang tsuper ng buhay ko… pilit kong inaagaw ang manibela sa mas nakakaalam na magpatakbo ng buhay ko at Sya mismo ang nagbigay nito. Minsan kasi masarap ang feeling kapag may nagawa ka na ikaw lang mag-isa ang gumawa, walang hinihinging tulong sa ibang tao. Akala ko napakalaking bagay ang nagawa ko pero kung susuriing mabuti ay sobrang liit lang pala, gahibla lang ng buhok. Kung iisipin mo lang talaga wala kang magagawa sa sarili mo lang kakayahan. Sabi nga sa Bible, “Apart from God, we can do nothing!” May pagkaulyanin lang yata ako paminsan-minsan. Puro akala ko, akala ko… akala ko kaya ko, hindi naman pala…akala ko gusto ko, pero ‘pag binigay na nya hindi pala ‘yon ang gusto ko o kaya may gusto ulit akong iba… Siguro nabatukan na ako ni God sabay sabi, “Ano ba talaga ang gusto mo ha?!” Back to square one na naman tayo nyan, “ano nga ba ang gusto ko?” Hindi ko talagang kilala ang sarili ko kaya dapat tinatanong na lang ulit si God kung ano ang gusto nya para sa akin. Total, Sya naman ang mas nakakaalam. Minsan naguguluhan rin ako sa Kanya…sabi nya maging specific sa prayers tapos madalas hindi naman nya sinasagot. Hehehe…ang ultimate goal ni God sa prayer ay ang character development natin. Napansin ko lang, sa umpisa ng Christian life ko, feeling ko lahat ng prayers ko sinasagot Nya kahit ultimo napakaliit na bagay, “yes!” ang sagot. Tapos ng lumaon, aba parang pakonti ng pakonti ang sinasagot ni God. ‘Yon pala He’s building yung trust ko sa Kanya, pinapa-grow Nya yung faith ko. Siguro kung magsasalita lang si God in audible voice, “Anong tingin mo sa akin, isang genie? Hindi mo ba alam na makakasama sa ‘yo yang hinihingi mo sa akin?” ‘Yon yung mga “no” na sagot ni God. Kung minsan naman makakasama sa atin ‘sa ngayon’ kung ibibigay nya agad yung hinihingi natin sa Kanya. Kaya ‘wait’ ang sagot Nya. Trust lang kay God, perfect timing Sya always! :)

Kailangan lang talaga na maging close kay God palagi para malaman kung anong gusto Nya.

Hmmm…alin kaya sa mga gusto ko ang gusto ni God para sa akin? :)

"what if..."

...God will tell me I have only 24 hours to live?

Whaaaah...what am I going to do? Hmmm...do the things I want to do (e.g. study how to play violin and flute, study photography, learn surfing and diving, visit tourist spots in the Philippines, read all the books I want to read, etc). Hehehe...as if I could do all these things in just 24 hours. :) I will just spend it with my family and friends. Maybe I'll have a big party for them. God has just reminded me of the importance of time. Every second counts so I should live my life meaningfully and with eternity in mind.

...I was blessed with only one leg?

Hmmm...I would live a normal life. Do the things I want to do. I would not ask God any questions about it. Hmmm...easier said than done. I really appreciate my right leg these days. It's really impossible to walk with just one leg. Thank God nothing serious happened to my right leg and foot. They'll be fine in the coming weeks, yehey! :)

...God would call me to live a life of single blessedness?

Ahh...Hmm...maybe I'll ask Him if He is really serious..."God, the essence of being a woman is to get married and have children, isn't it?" or "God, you know, I am willing to wait...make it 2 years, 5, 10, you're the boss, I'll wait...please!!!" hehehe. :D Kidding aside, I'll do anything for my Savior. If He says so, I'll obey. :)

These thoughts just crossed my mind during my free time (had lots of free time these past few days). :) God is just giving me "heart check-ups" from time to time. I hope He finds that He is the One seated on the throne all the time and the love of my life. :)

Whatever happens, good or bad...I'll be reminded that...

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don't understand
When you can't see His plan
When you can't trace His hand
Trust His heart

another chance to live

I woke up few minutes earlier than usual on that blessed day. I’m trying my very best to be at least on time in every appointment (you see, I have 9AM appointments daily at work, hehehe). My brother had an 8AM class so we left the house at about 7:40 AM. Around 7:45 AM, I was sitting near the island of the road, my right shoe about two feet away from me, my world seemed to stop suddenly. No, I was not out of my head to do such a thing in the middle of the road, I was slightly hit by a car. I forgot that the police allowed a counter flow traffic at that time. I was so used to look at the right side when crossing that part of the street. By God’s grace, I’m just suffering from a sprained right foot and bruises. Is this another wake up call from God? Wake me up from what?

I’ve been contemplating on my life lately. I guess this is just another refining work of God in my life. Still don’t know what is God’s specific purpose at this time but I’m sure His plan is the best. For the mean time, I had some realizations…

…I’ll regard life as extra precious gift from God. When I can’t think of something to be thankful for, I’ll be reminded to thank God for the life He has given me, I’m still breathing and I’m alright.

…I’ll be extra loving and sweet to everyone. I’ll cherish each second whenever I’m with a person – may he/she be a family, friend, church mate, or even a stranger. I just don’t know when God will call me home.

…I appreciate Jesus’ sacrifice for me even more. I had this bruise on my leg and sometimes I can’t bear the pain when I’m putting antiseptic on it. I thought…this pain I can’t bear was nothing compared to the excruciating pain my Savior had suffered just to save me. O what an amazing love that is – He laid down His life for us!

…I felt extra loved by people. I thank God for the awesome love He showed me through those people who – sent text messages, called over the phone, visited me personally, assisted me in my daily needs, prayed for me. I thank you all for your love and concern. I really thanked God for making me feel extra significant these days. :)

Though what happened to me seems not good at this time, I still hold on to my life verse, Romans 8:28, that says: “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose.”

I just want to say, “thank you”
It’s all that I could say
Thank you, Lord, for loving me.

when the feeling is gone

There are days when I feel so close to God.  It seems that I'm madly in love with Him.  Every single cell in my body is happy (sounds like a line in a song?!). It's like I'm holding hands with Him and feeling His warm hugs.  I can't get Him out of my head. Everywhere I go I feel His presence and I see Him in every little thing happening in my life.  But there are days when it seems that the feeling is gone.  I'm feeling blank.  I don't feel His presence...  I believe this is a time when God chooses to be silent.  Feelings should not be the basis.  As the Bible says, "the heart is deceitful above all things..."  We cannot trust our feelings.  It should not be the foundation.  Though I'm quite inexperienced in the matter of love, I've learned so far that love is a mixture of mind and heart.  When I don't feel loved by God, I just go back to His love letters to me found in His Word - The Bible.  "...the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever."  "Heaven and earth will fade but His word will still remain."  I will trust in His unfailing love...though I don't feel His presence, though He seems so far away, though I don't feel His warm hugs.  God always pursues us with His love, He is always the iniatiator.  Maybe He just wants us to pursue Him with our love but come to think of it, He is also the one giving us the feeling to love Him and pursue Him.  O, what a loving God He is!  So when the feeling is gone I would just remind myself...Jesus loves me this I know for the Bible tells me so... :)

zaijian?

I am thankful that my mom is always there to care and fix things for us.  Lately, she made an inventory of our shoes, patiently labeling each shoe box with the corresponding shoes inside.  (Hehehe, sometimes we kids are always dependent to our parents...hay, it's difficult to raise kids these days.Ü) I have several old shoes that need repair.  We are sort of sentimental people - don't want to let go of the things that have sentimental value to us.  I remembered a time when I shed a tear or two for my broken watch.  (So babaw of me, huh?  Crying for an inanimate object.  We used to cry for our dead pet dog and fish too.  Hehehe.)  She brought all my shoes that have to be repaired to a shoe shop.  God is good and all of my shoes were neatly repaired - good as new!  (You see, I wear size 3 of rubber shoes, kids size in leather shoes, one size smaller than the smallest size displayed in the ladies' section of shoe shelves.)  I really treasure my shoes.  But it seems that God is giving me some 'heart check-up' from time to time to see if I'm loving my possessions more than I love Him whenever something was broken.  I have this attitude of being 'loyal' even to things, 'stick to one' habit.  I will not let go of the thing until it is broken or if it was broken, I will have it repaired and then use it again.  It's hard for me to say goodbye and to let go of things, more so of people.  I just thought of God...I thank Him for being so loyal...I guess "faithful" is more appropriate word to use.  He's so faithful even if I'm broken...need some repair...prone to fail...always unfaithful.  He never let me go.  I remembered a line in Philip Yancey's Reaching for the Invisible God that says, "Some things are loved because they are worthy; some things are worthy because they are loved."  How beautiful is God's unfailing love towards me.  Can't understand how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.  God is always mindful of me.  Thank you God for loving me.  I'm just amazed. :)

 

Praise You God of earth and sky

How beautiful is Your unfailing love

Unfailing love

And You never change, God, You remain

The Holy One, my unfailing love

Unfailing love

 

 

tine decides to live

I am looking for my heart.

What makes you come alive?  What stirs your heart?

...in the heart of every man is a desparate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.

Not every woman wants a battle to fight, but every woman yearns to be fought for.  Every woman also wants an adventure to share.  And finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil.

Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are men who have come alive.

-- John Eldredge, Wild at Heart

 

I feel like my life is in some kind of a routine lately.  I am getting bored.  I just don't know.

Last Saturday on my way home after a church activity, I did something unusual to break the routine.  I preferred a certain route on my way home - sort of a shortcut because I'm avoiding the heavy traffic in the main road.  But that day there was no jeep on that particular route.  There were tricycles but those have another route.  Armed with my umbrella (it's drizzling that time), I decided to walk.  It's quite a distance but I enjoyed my walking.  The chorus of Chris Tomlin's Unfailing Love kept on playing in my mind...Praise You God of earth and sky, How beautiful is Your unfailing love, Unfailing love, And You never change, God, You remain, The Holy One my unfailing love, Unfailing love.  When there was no one around I stole those moments to blurt out in singing.  Good thing the rain didn't pour hard. :)  I walked for about 15 minutes.  I had a chance to reflect while walking.  You can feel God's presence everywhere if you will just be aware of it.  That night till the first few hours the following day (Sunday), I had a great time alone with God.  In my reflective mood I browsed over my old books.  Then I stumbled on those words by John Eldredge...I am looking for my heart.  It seems to put into words the thing I'm feeling for quite some time now.  There are still some things I have to settle with God.  But God is really faithful when He said, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.  I will be found by you."  God's message preached by our American pastor yesterday was entitled "Getting Centered".  What a timing!  God is indeed speaking to me.  We usually end our Sunday Worship service with a fast song but yesterday our pastor wanted it to end in a meditative slow song..."Heart of Worship".  It's one of my favorites but its lyrics have come alive especially the lines...Longing just to bring something that's of worth that will bless Your heart...I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus.  Since it's a matter of the heart I find the words of another song as my prayer...Purify my heart, cleanse me Lord, I pray, Remove from me all that is standing in the way of Your love.

 

I've been looking for a particular book since the beginning of the year.  It's entitled, "A Chance to Die".  It was out of print based from one source that I've asked before.  I was about to give up my search for the book when God made a way for me to find a bookstore that has a lower price for special order of that book.  I don't usually buy expensive books.  It's been over a month now since I inquired about the book.  The bookstore personnel told me then that it depends on the availability of the book in the market.  So it was still not so sure.  Thank God, after more than a month's time of waiting, I was able to hold the book yesterday (though there was a little price adjustment).  I'm fascinated by real life heroes, history-makers and people who made a difference in this world.  I'm also hoping this life of mine will count.

 

Jesus, I decide to live...live a life that shouts Your fame.

I Love To Love You Lord

I love to say how much I love You

The longing of my heart is to please You

Lord I'm not here to complain about my many problems

By Your Spirit and Your grace

I'm confident You'll solve them

 

I'm here to say I love You

I'm here to say I adore You

I'm here to say I love You

I love to love You Lord

 

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A song sung by Ron Kenoly's two sons in his album Welcome Home.  I found myself singing the song while I'm on my way to work this morning.  In my mind, I am really thinking on ways how to serve God more.  Then I read this statement from Bruce Wilkinson's Secrets of the Vine - "God didn't want me to do more FOR Him.  He wanted me to be more WITH Him."  It's time to re-focus my thinking...