Test, anyone?

I don't like tests. But if I have to take one, I will gladly take it just to know how I am doing. But given a chance to be exempted from the test, that would be great! Would you believe that life on earth is a test? Whhaaatttt???!!!! (Remember a tagline of a popular reality TV show, "Because everything is a test... so believe in the power of your dreams..."?)

Rick Warren's The Purpose Driven Life reminded me that life on earth is a test. It says there "Character is both developed and revealed by tests, and all of life is a test. You are always being tested. God constantly watches your response to people, problems, success, conflict, illness, disappointment, and even the weather! He even watches the simplest actions such as when you open a door for others, when you pick up a piece of trash, or when you're polite toward a clerk or waitress." I immediately recalled the things that I've done on the previous days. Was I able to pass those "tests"? I hope I passed most of them. *then thinks again?!!*

I thought that nothing really significant happened to me these days - at work, at home, at church. But then I read, "When you understand that life is a test, you realize that nothing is insignificant in your life. Even the smallest incident has significance for your character development. Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God. Some tests seem overwhelming, while others you don't even notice. But all of them have eternal implications."

I was quite worried. How could I pass all those tests? But no need to worry, "the good news is that God wants you to pass the tests of life, so he never allows the tests you face to be greater than the grace he gives you to handle them. (I Cor. 10:13)"

"Every time you pass a test, God notices and makes plans to reward you in eternity."

This makes me careful and more aware of my thoughts, actions, and words. Everything counts. I make it a point that everything I do will bring glory to my God! I know it's hard but with God's help I can do it! (Phil. 4:13)

Now I wonder how many tests did I pass already? (Aja! Jia you! Sige! Go, go, go!)

Which Filipino Food Are You?

Adobo: Meats simmered in soy sauce and vinegar.
Classic Filipino dish


Which Filipino Food Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

How big is your God?

How big is your God?
Is the question to ask
Is He not bigger than the mountains,
the seas and the earth?
Is He not bigger than your problems,
concerns and trials?

Do not fear and do not be afraid (Isa. 41:10)
For God is faithful and true
He promised that He will never
leave you nor forsake you (Heb. 13:5)
So be still and know that He is God (Ps. 46:10)
For your God is a BIG God.
--March 5, 2005 8:38 PM

Theoretically

I learned how to drive a car since I was in second year highschool. But still without a driving license then, I don't want to engage myself in driving at that time (though it is one of the things most young people are itching to do). I think it is what they say in Filipino "masarap ang bawal". So I just kept all these driving lessons that I got back then in the little corner of my brain. My brother started to learn how to drive also about a year ago. Since he was at the right age, he got a driving license also. I know he has this gift in driving so my mom and I just let him drive all the time. I just enjoyed my place at the back seat, sight seeing, eating or even reading books while we are travelling. A couple of weeks ago, my brother went to a youth camp in Caliraya. The baton of driving was passed on my hand. Before leaving, my brother bombarded me with all the pointers on how to drive -- the gears, side mirrors, calculations, parking technics, etc. I do driving just inside our village but beyond our village's gate is another story.

The moment of truth came, it was Saturday morning. My brother had to be in our church for their departure to Caliraya. He drove the car to our church but I was tasked to do the driving back home. Good thing it was early morning so only few vehicles were on the road. I think I gave my mom a fright with my sudden swerves and heart stopping curves. My mom and I made an arrangement that we will just commute on Sunday morning going to church. I was quite relieved also. I don't have to worry about driving anymore. But early Sunday morning, my mom changed her mind and asked me, "Do you think you can drive going to church? Besides it is more convenient than commuting." As a loving daughter, I gladly took the challenge and the opportunity to serve my mom by driving her to church. I also said to myself, this is it -- a time to practice all the things that I've learned before about driving including the bits and pieces given by my brother. Thank God, we were able to arrive at our church just in time and to go home safe and sound. What an experience! I can still remembered how my knees trembled and how fast my heartbeat was after we parked the car at the parking lot and at our garage.

I was just thinking now that theoretical knowledge is nothing if not put into practice. Theoretically, I know how to drive but by experience I don't. You'll never really learn something, in this case, driving skill, without actually getting behind the steering wheel, start the engine, change the gear and drive. I was reading a lot about pain, hurt, sorrow. I thought I already knew about them but it is a different story when you are into pain, hurt and sorrow. I tend to forget what I've learned theoretically. O forgetful me! I just hope that I would remember and apply all the things that I've read and learned theoretically when I face and experience life's challenges. I guess this is what they say, "experience is the best teacher (...but not all the time!)".

Desensitized

Last weekend, I spent some time with my old guitar. I was strumming some chords and I heard that something was not right with the sound. I tried to tune my guitar. As I was turning the tuning keys of my guitar, I noticed that the sound got worse than before. I haven't really mastered the art of tuning but somehow I was relatively successful in my previous attempts to tune my guitar. After several minutes trying to tune my guitar, I decided to tune it with the help of my keyboards. I set up my old dusty keyboards (which were not used for months now). I played the specific note in the keyboards and manage to play the string of my guitar. But after several minutes (again?!!) of comparing the sound of the notes, I can’t really make the 6 strings of my guitar sound in harmony. I felt disappointed. I used to tune my guitar all by myself. What went wrong? Now, I was thinking of bringing my guitar to a music shop for a check up. Maybe it’s because of the worn-out strings… Or the dysfunctional tuning keys? Or maybe my own ears?!!

Because I haven’t practiced tuning my guitar by ear (oido) for quite some time, my ears were not keen anymore. I felt they were desensitized. This pair of ears wasn’t able to distinguish the difference in the notes being played. I just thought of what our pastor said. “Our ears should be like the ears of the sheep that knows the voice of its shepherd.” We must be able to distinguish the voice of our Master Shepherd – Jesus. Spending time praying and reading the Bible will develop this listening skill. One more thought that came to my mind - “We should not love this world so much that we forget where is our citizenship – our citizenship is in heaven.” Apostle Paul said in Romans 12:2 “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Our ears and also our hearts should always be in tuned to God and His Word.

But my guitar is still out of tune these days...
I need more… more practice!
--April 12, 2005

Creative moments

Will You Be There?

Sometimes in my darkest times
I think I’m all alone
Helpless and tired
Will You be there?
Will You be there?

In moments when the world is upon me
And circumstances seem to be cruel
Will You be there?
Will You be there?

But I feel my voice is just in the air
My prayers are never answered
My calls are unheard
And my cries are all in vain

Forever will I praise Your name
Though my prayers seem floating in the air
You promised and I will always believe
That You will forever be there for me.
-- 2001

Why?

Why should I be mad at you?
Without you I am nothing
Why should I feel this way?
You never fail me
You have wonderful plans for me
Though I cannot understand
I will trust
Though I feel betrayed
I’ll still believe
I offer to you my all
Be the master of my life
I’m tired of trying
Please bless me.
-- Sept. 1, 2004

Anything else?

Is there anything else that I could ask for?
You’ve given me what I don’t deserve
Is there anything else that I could live for?
You’ve given me enough reason to live
You are all that I’ve hoped for
You are all that I’ve dreamt of
You are all that I need, Lord.
-- Jan. 18, 2005

"sad" feeling again?!!

I was feeling down these days without any known particular reason. I was just feeling down. That’s it! It’s like nothing significant really happening in my life now. I was like a wounded soldier waiting for someone to care for me. Ah, another emotional roller coaster ride, I guess. Then just before lunchtime, a friend asked for prayers and encouragement. I just thought, I am “wounded” now, how could I give encouragement to her. I prayed for her and it seems that my “wounds” are getting healed. I am beginning to feel some sort of strength coming into my being.

As I was looking through the glass window of our office, a thought came into my mind. I remembered an illustration I read somewhere before. There is a wounded soldier (I can’t remember exactly if he is a soldier) and people are asking help from him. He ignored them and he became weaker. He thought, “how could I be of help if I am wounded myself?” But the next time, he helped those who are asking for help. And he was surprised that his wounds are getting healed and he is getting stronger.

I remembered of the “wounded healer” mentioned in Nelson Dy’s “Finding Comfort”. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

I was also reminded by Isaiah 53:5 “…by his wounds we are healed.” Jesus suffered and died to save us from our sins. Thank you, Jesus! Now, we are healed! I should say now… I am healed! --March 31, 2005