I was wondering lately if now is the time to change job. It is not because I don’t like the job but it is more of a question on passion. I was thinking if I would find the job where there is my passion. But the problem is “what is my passion?” I haven’t fully understood this word… I just know that people have different passions… passion for sports, passion for cars, passion for computers, etc. It is also used to describe how things are done… kiss passionately, paint with passion, passionate with music. I revisited a book by John Piper entitled “The Passion of Jesus Christ”. John Piper said that we associate at least four things with the word passion: sexual desire, zeal for a task, an oratorio by J. S. Bach, and the sufferings of Jesus Christ. He further said that the word passion comes from a Latin word meaning suffering. The book is about “why was Jesus Christ crucified? Why did he suffer much?” Why in a sense of purpose and not in a sense of cause, so John Piper cited 50 reasons why Christ suffered and died in his book.
In line with this thought, I happened to watch several video clips about Christianity – one about the persecution of Christians in China and the other is the spiritual revival in Cali, Colombia. I was deeply moved. I saw and felt a great passion in those people. They are willing to lay down their lives for what they believe is the truth. Some called them fools. I wondered how they could think that way. They stood firm even to the point of death? I was thinking if I could have the same passion as they have.
This morning I was enlightened by the message of Dr. Harold Sala. There is nothing wrong on talking about Christ’s death. But we should not forget the most important event which is His resurrection. This gives us hope. Our Savior does not remain in the tomb. The tomb is empty! Jesus is alive! God is always reminding me this chorus of a hymn whenever I feel that I could not go on with life – “because He lives I can face tomorrow, because He lives all fear is gone, and because I know He holds the future, and life is worth a living just because He lives…”
What a sweet reminder of how high, how deep, how wide and how long is the love of Christ!
Sunday, March 27, 2005
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Forgetful Me
I am always cautious in remembering things – may it be birthdays, tasks, responsibilities, important dates, verses, places, etc.
Lately, I realized that my memory failed me many times. Yeah, I know, I am only human. But when I am faced with difficult and challenging circumstances, I easily lose heart and forget what God has done for me in the past. Oh, forgetful me!
When I remember God’s goodness and faithfulness in the past, I can’t help but worship and adore Him. I may not understand my situation then but now I really treasure those trying times.
The psalmist said in Psalm 77, “I remembered my songs in the night…I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?”
I pray that God will help me remember what He has done for me and especially His precious Son, Jesus, who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses.
Lately, I realized that my memory failed me many times. Yeah, I know, I am only human. But when I am faced with difficult and challenging circumstances, I easily lose heart and forget what God has done for me in the past. Oh, forgetful me!
When I remember God’s goodness and faithfulness in the past, I can’t help but worship and adore Him. I may not understand my situation then but now I really treasure those trying times.
The psalmist said in Psalm 77, “I remembered my songs in the night…I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago. I will meditate on all your works and consider all your mighty deeds. Your ways, O God, are holy. What god is so great as our God?”
I pray that God will help me remember what He has done for me and especially His precious Son, Jesus, who is able to sympathize with my weaknesses.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Pakiwari
Itong mga nagdaang araw pakiwari ko ay nasa isa akong "roller coaster" ng mga emosyon.
May mga araw na pakiwari ko ay sobrang gaan ng feeling (parang isang shampoo commercial!).
May mga araw naman na parang nakasadlak ka sa lupa o kung mas malala pa ay sa putik (para namang isang eksena sa madramang pelikula).
May mga araw naman na parang wala lang... lumipas ang araw ng hindi mo namamalayan at parang walang makabuluhang nangyari.
Nakakatuwa si God kasi sa sobrang dami ng emosyon, e hindi ko alam kung ano na ang tawag sa kanila. Nagpapatunay lang na ang Diyos ay isang napakalaking Diyos (big God ba?!!) at napakagaling (awesome, amazing, wonderful, etc!!!).
Pero sa bawat emosyon mayroon Syang tinuturo. Ngayon lamang ay para akong sasabog na bulkan sa sobrang inis. Hindi ko gusto ang nangyayari sa sitwasyon at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganon ang ugali ng ibang tao - pero bigla kong naalala na "life is a test", sabi nga sa Purpose Driven Life (PDL). Paano ka nga naman matututong magmahal kung lahat ng tao sa paligid mo ay kaibig-ibig (lovable ba?!!) kaya nilalagay ni God ang ibang taong para bang kay hirap mahalin.
Mayroon gustong ituro si God sa akin. Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa alam pero dapat makapasa ako sa "test" na ito. Nabanggit rin sa PDL na "God is more concern on your character."
Hay, parang katulad ng grapevine na dumadaan sa "pruning stage". Masakit na proseso pero may maganda namang kalalabasan.
Pakiwari ko ang dami pang gustong ituro sa akin ni God. =)
May mga araw na pakiwari ko ay sobrang gaan ng feeling (parang isang shampoo commercial!).
May mga araw naman na parang nakasadlak ka sa lupa o kung mas malala pa ay sa putik (para namang isang eksena sa madramang pelikula).
May mga araw naman na parang wala lang... lumipas ang araw ng hindi mo namamalayan at parang walang makabuluhang nangyari.
Nakakatuwa si God kasi sa sobrang dami ng emosyon, e hindi ko alam kung ano na ang tawag sa kanila. Nagpapatunay lang na ang Diyos ay isang napakalaking Diyos (big God ba?!!) at napakagaling (awesome, amazing, wonderful, etc!!!).
Pero sa bawat emosyon mayroon Syang tinuturo. Ngayon lamang ay para akong sasabog na bulkan sa sobrang inis. Hindi ko gusto ang nangyayari sa sitwasyon at hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit ganon ang ugali ng ibang tao - pero bigla kong naalala na "life is a test", sabi nga sa Purpose Driven Life (PDL). Paano ka nga naman matututong magmahal kung lahat ng tao sa paligid mo ay kaibig-ibig (lovable ba?!!) kaya nilalagay ni God ang ibang taong para bang kay hirap mahalin.
Mayroon gustong ituro si God sa akin. Sa ngayon, hindi ko pa alam pero dapat makapasa ako sa "test" na ito. Nabanggit rin sa PDL na "God is more concern on your character."
Hay, parang katulad ng grapevine na dumadaan sa "pruning stage". Masakit na proseso pero may maganda namang kalalabasan.
Pakiwari ko ang dami pang gustong ituro sa akin ni God. =)
Monday, March 21, 2005
Selective Amnesia
I was just thinking if God would grant my wish to give me selective amnesia.
This thought came into my mind when I read an article about encouragement. The article reminded me of an experience a few months ago. I was a recipient of a coarse joke. I knew it was a joke and I’m not the type of person who is “onion-skinned” but the words that were spoken pierced my heart. It made my mind went over 180kph thinking and rationalizing the occurrence of those spoken words. I was left with many questions – “what made that person give that unlikable remark?” / “of all the people, why him/her?” I already forgave the person and lifted him/her up to God. But the memory of the incident is still there. So I thought, what if I ask God to erase that part of my memory… some kind of selective amnesia?
I guess that’s the design of God. I know that God has His own timing on things. I just prayed that every time I will remember that “unlikable” incident, I would remember that God’s grace is abundant. He who forgave all of my sins is faithful. It also made me realized that there is a tremendous power on our words. Lesson learned… just like what the Sunday School song says: “Oh be careful little tongue what you say, for the Father up above is looking down with love, Oh be careful little tongue what you say!”
Ephesians 4:29 reminds me: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
My tagline today (maybe not just today only!): ENCOURAGE MORE!
This thought came into my mind when I read an article about encouragement. The article reminded me of an experience a few months ago. I was a recipient of a coarse joke. I knew it was a joke and I’m not the type of person who is “onion-skinned” but the words that were spoken pierced my heart. It made my mind went over 180kph thinking and rationalizing the occurrence of those spoken words. I was left with many questions – “what made that person give that unlikable remark?” / “of all the people, why him/her?” I already forgave the person and lifted him/her up to God. But the memory of the incident is still there. So I thought, what if I ask God to erase that part of my memory… some kind of selective amnesia?
I guess that’s the design of God. I know that God has His own timing on things. I just prayed that every time I will remember that “unlikable” incident, I would remember that God’s grace is abundant. He who forgave all of my sins is faithful. It also made me realized that there is a tremendous power on our words. Lesson learned… just like what the Sunday School song says: “Oh be careful little tongue what you say, for the Father up above is looking down with love, Oh be careful little tongue what you say!”
Ephesians 4:29 reminds me: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
My tagline today (maybe not just today only!): ENCOURAGE MORE!
Saturday, March 19, 2005
broken vow
i made a commitment earlier this week...
i failed...
i'm no good... can't keep a commitment even to my own self.
i guess i have to beat my body more to make it my slave...
i know that God will empower me, i just have to do my part...
focus... focus... focus...
2Ds
Discipline… Disappointment…
These are my two keywords for today.
I am disappointed with myself because I feel I lack discipline these days.
I always plan to do things but I always fail to do them.. it is like what Paul says in Romans 7:15 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
It is like I’m just going with the flow of life.
I need to get back on track.. to run the race in order to win.
This time my plans should not be remain as plans only… I should do what I must do to get those plans be done.
But of course, it is still “not my will but His will be done.”
I was reminded by these verses…
Hebrews 12:1 “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entagles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 “…run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
I am refocusing my mind this time. I will beat my body and make it my slave.
I should fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.
I will start tonight and I pray that God would grant me success.
Help me, God.
--March 16, 2005
These are my two keywords for today.
I am disappointed with myself because I feel I lack discipline these days.
I always plan to do things but I always fail to do them.. it is like what Paul says in Romans 7:15 “I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.”
It is like I’m just going with the flow of life.
I need to get back on track.. to run the race in order to win.
This time my plans should not be remain as plans only… I should do what I must do to get those plans be done.
But of course, it is still “not my will but His will be done.”
I was reminded by these verses…
Hebrews 12:1 “…let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entagles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.”
1 Corinthians 9:24-27 “…run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”
I am refocusing my mind this time. I will beat my body and make it my slave.
I should fix my eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of my faith.
I will start tonight and I pray that God would grant me success.
Help me, God.
--March 16, 2005
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
"sad" feeling
I was in a rush this morning.. I woke up late so I hurriedly fix myself up for work. All of a sudden my mom made a comment on me, “Nak, bakit mukha kang malungkot? Hindi ba sweldo mo ngayon?” I just smiled. I really love my mom for she has such a good timing in almost everything. I can’t think of a reason why I’m feeling sad today. I didn’t even notice it. But when my mom made that comment, I became puzzled and asked myself of questions like – “Why? Does my face look sad?” I spent my travel time (going to work) thinking and rationalizing this “sad” feeling that my mom saw on me. My thoughts… I’m kind of feeling tired physically? I look sad because an officemate has resigned already? I am kinda frustrated with the way I live my life lately? I’m disappointed with life itself?
I am again faced with choices… to wallow on this “sad” feeling (I don’t really know if the feeling actually exists) or to refocus my mind to something beneficial. As my mind is doing this sorting and processing of thoughts, God impressed other thoughts… 1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” The “sad” feeling is still there but my mind is suddenly going to another direction. The verse is like a sudden change of wind direction that causes the sailboat to move to another direction. God keeps on giving me enlightening thoughts and songs to sing… because He lives I can face tomorrow (just when I’m thinking that I can’t go on anymore) …Lovely day song – “just one look to You and the world is alright… and I know it’s gonna be a lovely day!” (just when I’m feeling that this will be a bad day!) …Barbie’s cradle song “All I need” – “all I need is God!” (just when I’m looking for someone or something to inspire me or to cheer me up) …Josh Groban’s song “You raised me up” (a realization that God is the only one who could raise me up from this “sad” feeling).
I really thank God for all that He’s been doing in my life. I am fascinated how human brain can function like this – processing thoughts and ideas in just a small amount of time! Amazing! I just adored God for who He is! I praised and thanked God for making me feel that “sad” feeling. He made me realized that He is really a God who speaks to His children even in a most absurd way. O, why not? Now, I remembered that God even made a donkey speak to convey His message to Balaam! -- March 15, 2005
Idle times
It's a cloudy day today based on the glass window i'm looking at the office. I'm patiently waiting for calls to come... then i know it's idle time again.
In idle times, I was left with two options: 1) to stay idle or 2) find something to do. In these times that i was tempted to remain idle and just let my thoughts wander where it wants to go. But I thanked God that He does not left my thoughts wandering for no reason. I was able to reflect on many things during those idle times. I was able to write emails to my dgroupmates and friends. God enabled me to be a blessing to others through these times. God is truly a big God. Before, I was resentful on this kind of set up but now I'm feeling that I will miss this idle times when this set up will have to change.
Ah, I just thought that we are left with many choices to make in this lifetime.
I'm kind of thinking on many things these days... relationships, career, ministry, calling, money, and other different ideas. I just pray that in every decision I will make, God's hand will be upon me.. that I will always bear in mind "..not my will but His will be done."
I can't believe that I've done something good again during my idle time. Thank God for the ideas! I'm looking forward to my future idle times... zaijian! -- March 14, 2005
In idle times, I was left with two options: 1) to stay idle or 2) find something to do. In these times that i was tempted to remain idle and just let my thoughts wander where it wants to go. But I thanked God that He does not left my thoughts wandering for no reason. I was able to reflect on many things during those idle times. I was able to write emails to my dgroupmates and friends. God enabled me to be a blessing to others through these times. God is truly a big God. Before, I was resentful on this kind of set up but now I'm feeling that I will miss this idle times when this set up will have to change.
Ah, I just thought that we are left with many choices to make in this lifetime.
I'm kind of thinking on many things these days... relationships, career, ministry, calling, money, and other different ideas. I just pray that in every decision I will make, God's hand will be upon me.. that I will always bear in mind "..not my will but His will be done."
I can't believe that I've done something good again during my idle time. Thank God for the ideas! I'm looking forward to my future idle times... zaijian! -- March 14, 2005
Sunday, March 13, 2005
relationships...
i had just gone from a gathering for a birthday celebration for a dgroupmate of mine...
i just had this thought that relationships are one of those that you will cherish i think even beyond eternity. i was in the line of thought on how to acquire more (in terms of income) these days. i was actually formulating plans on how to realize all these plans and goals when all of a sudden i was redirected this morning by the message in our worship service entitled "money, possessions, and eternity"... what a great timing! i feel that God is just reminding me to really focus on things with eternal values... i was just really overzealous on doing many things, i know these things are good but He wants me to focus on the important things.
i'm quite broken hearted (not in terms of my love life!) these days too... it is not really because relationship/s had ended but there are some would-be-goodbyes to people who will soon-to-be not close (physically) anymore.
i just don't like goodbyes... that's it! but i know that in all things God has a purpose especially for those who love Him.
ah, relationships... it is one thing that will last even in the absence of time and space.. it will remain in your heart, even in your being.
just getting sentimental... but i just thought, of all the relationships i have, the most important one is my relationship to my Lord Jesus, how am i really doing in my relationship to Him? i think that's a good question to ask to myself? do i really regard this relationship as the most important one?
evaluate... reflect... meditate...
i just had this thought that relationships are one of those that you will cherish i think even beyond eternity. i was in the line of thought on how to acquire more (in terms of income) these days. i was actually formulating plans on how to realize all these plans and goals when all of a sudden i was redirected this morning by the message in our worship service entitled "money, possessions, and eternity"... what a great timing! i feel that God is just reminding me to really focus on things with eternal values... i was just really overzealous on doing many things, i know these things are good but He wants me to focus on the important things.
i'm quite broken hearted (not in terms of my love life!) these days too... it is not really because relationship/s had ended but there are some would-be-goodbyes to people who will soon-to-be not close (physically) anymore.
i just don't like goodbyes... that's it! but i know that in all things God has a purpose especially for those who love Him.
ah, relationships... it is one thing that will last even in the absence of time and space.. it will remain in your heart, even in your being.
just getting sentimental... but i just thought, of all the relationships i have, the most important one is my relationship to my Lord Jesus, how am i really doing in my relationship to Him? i think that's a good question to ask to myself? do i really regard this relationship as the most important one?
evaluate... reflect... meditate...
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