All I Want For Christmas

First week of December:
This line of a Christmas song “all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth” popped in my mind. Hmmm… I wonder, “all I want for Christmas is ____________.” Actually, I was planning to conduct a mini-survey with my family and friends but it didn’t materialize. The “ala-Ms. Universe-question” would have been: “If God would only grant one (1) Christmas wish of yours, what would it be?”

Hmmm… I wonder what would be the survey answers: sports car (color: red)? new laptop? new mp3 player? new cellphone? house and lot? new boyfriend or girlfriend? new techie gadget?

Third week of December:
Quite busy in school… can’t think of that one thing I want for Christmas. First day of Christmas vacation... I saw the Jollibee ad (Aga and Charlene with their twins) on TV:
Andrea (girl): (sounds like babytalking) “Andres, what’s your Christmas wish?”
Andres (boy): (seems like thinking) “We have a mommy, we have a daddy… what more could we wish for?”
This “kid talk” stuck in my mind for quite a while. (Thanks to my dear brother who mimicks Andrea’s line for the nth time!) I just found some wisdom in Andres’ answer… Be thankful with what you have, learn to appreciate things… Another thing is the word “more” reminded me of a not so old Christian worship song, “More Love, More Power, More of You in my life…” Alas! I think this would be my answer to my survey question… just in time for Christmas.

It’s Christmas Day today! Thank God for His amazing love for us that He thought of sending us the greatest gift of all, His one and only Son, to save us from our sins! May we not forget the reason for the season, the birthday celebrant, our Lord and Savior – Jesus!:)

Have a blessed merry CHRISTmas! :)

Memory

Memory is one consideration in buying a techie gadget today. High memory means more data storage. I’m thinking of upgrading the memory of my mobile phone and my flashdrive/mp3 player lately but my “stick-to-it-till-it-wears-out” attitude is intervening. Most things I have had “sentimental” value to me. And this makes me ponder about human memory…

I wonder how many bytes/kilobytes/megabytes/gigabytes/terabytes (or whatever unit of measurement) our memory could store? Hmmm… it’s interesting to note that humans are capable to remember things or search the memory without using a search or find (ctrl key + F) feature. Another thing is the “association” component. Have you experience remembering someone or something when a “keyword” was mentioned? It’s not only about “keywords”… how about remembering someone or an event when you smell a distinct scent or when you hear a particular song or when you see a certain color or read an article? Whoah! This is really mind-boggling. I made some sort of experiment with myself lately… I took note of the times I remember someone/something and what made me remember that “someone/something”. And I noticed that it’s not just merely remembering that “someone/something”… emotions are also involved. How can I say this? I was driving one morning along Marcos Highway and a Toyota Altis car cut my lane. I was annoyed as in…(my brain started to take note of the car’s plate number, color, etc.) then I remembered a dear achi who drives a Toyota Altis car… my being “annoyed” was gone in seconds. I just wish I could associate every car that cuts my lane with someone dear to me di ba? Hehe.

My mom found our old Casio PT-1 small keyboard player in the storage area. Memories flooded my mind when I saw it even if my mind was preoccupied with other things. I remember how I used to play the melody of “Memory” (a song in the “Sound of Music” movie) in that small keyboard player and how my brother and I quarrelled who’d be first to play with it. To stop our quarelling over that small keyboard player, my dad bought another one… and more memories coming in. How come I still remember those memories when it was more than a decade ago already? Hmmm… interesting! It just made me think how great is the God who created us all! I’m just amazed! Awesome! :)

This could mean that memory is a great part of our personhood. Are you not the same person if you cannot remember anything in your past? I just wonder why we don’t have “selective” memory where we could only remember those things we want to remember. Hmmm… just thinking. I know God knows what’s best for us. I’m just sort of suggesting? Hehe :)

I noticed I’ve used a lot of the word “remember” in this blog entry…which reminds me of something…

The word “remember” appeared many times in the Bible. About a year ago I got curious with the word “remember” and looked up some verses with the word “remember” listed in the concordance. Let me share some of the verses I found…

Genesis 8:1 “…and God remembered Noah”
Exodus 20:8 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy”
Leviticus 26:42 “I will remember my covenant with Jacob”
Numbers 10:9 “Then you will be remembered by the Lord your God”
Deuteronomy 8:18 “Remember the Lord your God”
1 Chronicles 16:12 (Psalm 105:5) “Remember the wonders he has done”
Nehemiah 4:14 “Remember the Lord, who is good and awesome”
Psalm 77:11 “I will remember the deeds of the Lord…I will remember your miracles”
Ecclesiastes 12:1 “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth”
…and the list goes on.

Well, it’s nice to remember things. It’s nice to be remembered too. I hope my memory will work well this coming Sunday for the JLPT (Japanese Language Proficiency Test). ^^

Ganbatte kudasai! ^^ Ganbarou! ^^
Aza! Jia you! ^^

Legacy

LEGACY
by Nichole Nordeman

I don't mind if you've got something nice to say about me
And I enjoy an accolade like the rest
You could take my picture and hang it in a gallery
Of all who's who and so-n-so's that used to be the best
At such'n'such ... it wouldn't matter much

I won't lie, it feels alright to see your name in lights
We all need an 'Atta boy' or 'Atta girl'
But in the end I'd like to hang my hat on more besides
The temporary trappings of this world

I want to leave a legacy
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to You enough
To make a mark on things?
I want to leave an offering
A child of mercy and grace who
blessed your name unapologetically
And leave that kind of legacy

I don't have to look too far or too long awhile
To make a lengthly list of all that I enjoy
It's an accumulating trinket and a treasure pile
Where moth and rust, thieves and such will soon enough destroy

Not well traveled, not well read, not well-to-do or well bred
Just want to hear instead, "Well Done" good and faithful one...

=================================

The first three lines of this song’s chorus crossed my mind when our pastor mentioned about what people would say about you during your funeral. Will they remember you as a loving person? A person who speaks of good to others? General Maximus in the movie Gladiator said “What we do in this life echoes in eternity.” This made me reflect on my life.

Let me just share this excerpt from the book (Faith That Goes The Distance by Jud Wilhite) I’m currently reading…

Someone once said we should make life’s major decisions in a cemetery. Sounds a little morbid, but a cemetery reminds us of ultimate things and helps us plan with the end in mind….

Ravi Zacharias’s ancestors came from the Hindu priesthood’s highest caste. Zacharias converted to Christianity in his late teens and attended college in Canada. Since then, he has lectured all over the world.

Zacharias visited his grandmother’s grave in India, thirty years after he surrendered to Christ. She passed away when he was young. He recalls:

No one had visited her grave for almost thirty years. With his little bucket of water and a small brush, the gardener cleared off the caked-on dirt and, to our utter surprise, under her name, a verse gradually appeared. My wife clasped my hand and said, “Look at the verse!” It read, “Because I live, you shall live also.”

The legacy of the grandmother’s faith lived and breathed in the grandson standing before her tombstone! Dead people do speak. “Because I live, you shall live also.” What message will you leave behind?

Maybe it’s time for a walk in a cemetery.

Love In October

Love was the topic in our church for the whole month of October. It was a timely reminder. People, like me, oftentimes forget the true meaning of love. Of course, 1 Corinthians 13 is the main text for the love series. Love is such an abstract, intangible thing. I think the first definition of love I know was “Love is blind” because this was usually the answer of my classmates in the slumbook’s “What is Love?” question. :) I remember I once memorized the love chapter when I was in elementary as a requirement in one subject.

But really, what is love? I took note of the definition mentioned in one of the preachings… “Love is more than just a feeling. It is an unconditional commitment towards imperfect people to seek their highest good which oftentimes requires sacrifice.” Woahh! That’s a deep one. Let me share some of my learnings from the whole series, based on my notes…

1) Love is looooooooonnnnnnnnnggggg-suffering. This is how our pastor pronounced it…as in “looooooooooonnnnnnnnnggggggg-suffering” or in simpler term – patient!

2) Love does not seek its own (not selfish or self-seeking). I think some people often use this statement, “if you truly love me….you will blah, blah, blah”. Hello? Love is not selfish or self-seeking nga e. (kinda mataray tone!)

3) Love is not provoked. This one hit me bullseye! Our pastor’s example was something I could really relate to. It’s when you’re driving and someone cuts your way, what will you feel? Do you feel provoked? Oh my, I’m very guilty! Before I thought why some drivers (of jeepney, taxi, etc.) could not keep their “cool” when someone cuts their way. I thought, it’s just a matter of seconds, not a big deal. But wait, when I am the driver myself and someone cuts my way, it’s really a struggle to keep my “cool”. I am tempted to blow the car’s horn too loooonnnggg with matching flashing light and an “angry-look” on my face.

4) Love does not keep a record of wrongs. When someone cuts my way while I’m driving, I have the tendency to remember the plate number and other details of the car. All of a sudden I have photographic memory! My brain cells are working perfectly but I think my blood is simmering! Hehe :)

5) Loving is done without expectation of return. When we expect, oftentimes we will just be disappointed. So just love, love, love without expecting!

6) Love does not rejoices with evil but rejoices with the truth. I think it’s in the book of Proverbs where it says, “Open rebuke is better than secret love”. So speak the truth lovingly and gently.

7) Love bears all things. It’s loving the person for who he is (including the good and the bad in him). “You come loving not a perfect person but loving an imperfect person perfectly.” (I hope I got this quote right!)

That’s it! It all boils down to LOVE! :)

Take It All

After the “have it all” reflection I had before, now comes “take it all”. In the last few weeks, Hillsong United’s “Take It All” is being played over The Edge Radio. Well, the song has an upbeat tempo and a catchy line of “take, take, take it all!” (It’s really nice to watch the MTV of this song… it’s included in the DVD when you buy the album’s CD.)

Oh well, after enjoying the high-adrenaline mood of the song, I stop and think for a while… “Am I really willing to give Him my all?” I was thinking… “Here I am singing the last two lines of the chorus ‘take, take, take it all’ with all of my might and then what if God will really take it all from me… I wonder what would be my response… am I going to ask Him ‘why me, Lord?’ or will I be like Job who said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I shall return there. The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21)?

Time flies so fast… it’s been a year already when I had a street accident. I still remember that split-second moment when I thought God is taking me already… and all I could say then was “Sorry po!” :) I believe God has a purpose for everything’s happening in our lives. I thank God I’m still alive today and enjoying His abundant grace. I just hope I could watch the Hillsong United Concert here in Manila next month (November 21 to be exact!). :)

Here are the lyrics of my current last song syndrome song…

Take It All

Searching the world
The lost will be found
In freedom we live
As one we cry out
You carried the cross
You died and rose again
My God
I’ll only ever give my all

You sent Your Son
From heaven to earth
You delivered us all
It’s eternally heard
I searched for truth
And all I found was You
My God
I’ll only ever give my all

Jesus we’re living for Your Name
We’ll never be ashamed of You
Whoa o oh
Our praise and all we are today
Take take take it all
Take take take it all

Running to the One
Who heals the blind
Following the shining light
In Your hands
The power to save the world
My life

Takeshi's Castle

It’s been a week since the showing of Takeshi’s Castle in QTV Channel 11. I was still a kid when the first run of this show was aired in IBC Channel 13 few years ago. :) I don’t really know but what I’ve heard is the prize is a whopping amount of 1 million yen! I just thought what is the point of doing all those stunts in exchange for the money or for nothing. In line with this, let me just share this devotional written by a good friend for the devotional book, Word 4U 2Day…

Sep 9 Life does have a point
Written by Marichris Reyes

‘I PRESS ON TOWARDS THE GOAL TO WIN THE PRIZE FOR WHICH GOD HAS CALLED ME…’ PHILIPPIANS 3:14 NIV

Japan has always had a reputation for crazy game shows like ‘Takeshi’s Castle’. The program begins with 100 bonkers contestants all aiming to get through each crazy round in order to storm the castle at the end. Each round generally involves muddy water and normally sees contestants trying to balance on things, hang from things and jump over things. The result is normally that contestants fail quite spectacularly and obviously do themselves a serious injury. Eventually a few make it through to the final and, on the very rare occasion that they successfully storm the castle, receive absolutely nothing!

Many people live their lives as though they are on Takeshi’s castle. They follow the crowd and like the 100 nutty people in the first round run like maniacs to try and be the first to climb a huge slippery wall. No one really knows why they are doing it, but it looks fun so they do it anyway. As life goes on people get more hurt along the way and wonder what the point is. The survivors make it through to the end, battered, bruised, alone and exhausted and win absolutely nothing.

The Bible makes it clear that life does have a point, to know Jesus and make Him known. It’s life lived for an eternal goal and for heavenly rewards. If we live the Jesus life, we won’t get to the end and find we have nothing. But if we go along with the crowd just because that’s what they do and it looks fun, we’re in trouble. Chances are you will get seriously hurt along the way too.

click here to view the devotional's page

"Have it all"

This statement I saw from a cola billboard few weeks ago got stuck in my mind. Because of this, there’s a question hanging in my head… “Can I really have it all?” (I still like the regular cola over the ‘light’ variant… I need all the calories eh… Hehe Ü)

They always say… “You can’t have it all.” But really, “I can’t have it all?” Well, I guess it depends on the context of the last word – “all”. Maybe “all” means all the riches this world can offer. Or maybe a good job + good husband/wife (if you need one?!) + good children + good house + good friends + good family + good food + good/nice car + good/cool gadgets + (basta anything that’s good!!!) == ALL? Hehe I guess if you have these “all” you might think you don’t need God anymore. :) But when you have God, you may feel you “have it all” because you really “have it all”! I don’t know how to explain it further but let me just share some of my “have it all” moments...

…drinking a glass of ice-cold water when I’m really really thirsty
…eating a good breakfast – danggit and fried rice
…sipping hot chocolate one cold rainy morning
…listening to my fave song while driving the car with matching tapping the steering wheel and bobbing my head (take note: driving along a traffic-free road!)
…knowing that your loved ones were safe after a terrible storm
…group hug moments with my family
…meeting my good friends from college whom I haven’t met for a long time
…reviewing for an exam while listening to The Edge Radio over the internet in an air-conditioned room
…eating “binatog” as merienda, I think God reserved the last “binatog” for me because I haven’t eaten it for years (super savoring every spoonful of binatog! God is so gracious!)
…buying books at discounted price in a book fair with a good friend
…re-discovering old cassette tapes with my old favorite songs
…receiving audio/video CDs from a friend (kahit ‘burned’ lang!) :)
…seeing a rare kind of bird visiting our backyard (makes me want to do some bird-watching one of these days!)
…catching my favorite song being played over The Edge Radio and knowing that a friend who likes the song too is listening also
…eating Chickenjoy for lunch with my brother (both of us were really hungry)
…worshiping God freely in this country
…witnessing thousands of people gathered in a coliseum to worship God and knowing that there are thousands more worshiping through the satellite feed
…waking up in the morning knowing that I’m still breathing and alive
…and many many more to come :)

Sometimes I'm just such a "forgetful me!" of God's abundant grace in my life. :)

There’s another similar statement getting stuck in my head lately… but I have to resume my review session…next time na lang! :)

Ganbatte kudasai to me!
Jia you!
:)

how to mend a broken heart

I went to a book fair recently and bought a book with this title, "How to Mend a Broken Heart" by Nelson Dy. It's Mr. Dy's second book after his "Finding Comfort". Basically, the author shared in his book how God saw him through his struggles in mending his broken heart. It's an easy-read...about 133 pages. I liked his one-liners after every chapter. Very honest. It would be interesting to read a book like this from a woman's point of view. Hmmm...

Just want to share a prayer found in the book (page 54)...
"O Lord, You are the One who had mapped out my life. I pray that while my love life is zero, O Lord, turn the page. Since I know that You have plans for me, plans not to harm me, but to give me a future and a hope, I pray may there be someone for me ahead. And as You turn the page of my life, You will smile."

I like the last line... may God smile as he turns the pages of my life. :)

Psalm 23

One of my favorite chapters in the book of Psalms.

Well, I memorized this Psalm since my elementary days. It's amazing how God reminds me of this verses in different instances...

when feeling of discontentment creeps in... The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.

when feeling tired and weary... He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside still waters.

when I've tried everything to be refreshed... He restoreth my soul.

when walking alone in a street at night (feeling afraid)... Yea, though I walk in the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort.

hmmm...I've been thinking when did God reminded me of verse 5... anyway, the phrase "my cup runneth over" reminds me of God's grace, giving us what we do not deserve... and the song "Cry On My Shoulder" by Overflow band.

an awesome statement of David's intimacy with God -- Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

It's good to memorize verses because it's so helpful in times of temptation and struggles. I think I need some review on my memory verses and I have to add some more. I lack discipline lately.

ask for more?

Sometimes I tend to think that I deserve more in this life. Thank God He’s quick to bring me back to reality. Who deserves more? I don’t deserve anything but He’s just so gracious allowing me to experience good things…the air that I breathe, my great family, wonderful friends, techie gadgets, cute Suzuki, good books, my favorite comfy rubber slippers, a box of flat tops chocolate, good food – fried tilapia with atsara, ramen noodles, German franks and fried rice, homemade pizza and spag, etc., etc., etc………

Sometimes (or most of the time?) I’m just forgetful to count all the blessings God is giving to me. How great is God’s love lavished on us! What a wonderful God!

Dear Lord, how I long for contentment. Help me to be thankful not only for what I have received, but for what I have escaped. Teach me to think of yesterday without regret and tomorrow without fear as I learn to have an attitude of gratitude. Amen.

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My guitar has no strings now. I decided to remove its more-than-6 years-almost-corroded strings. Nothing is really permanent in this world huh?! Anyway, as I’m looking at my stringless guitar, I thought “what’s the use of having a guitar without strings?” And then God reminded me, “what’s the use of living life without Christ?” :)

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Pics...

Sunset last May 19, 2006...currently my cellphone's wallpaper... hay, how great is our God! :)

Almost full moon last May 10, 2006... another "hay, how great is our God! :)"

"Traffic jam" -- some days I wish I could carry the car in my pocket or have "ala Back To The Future car"... hehe :)

another past-time during heavy traffic -- take some pictures!!!

goodbyes, driving lessons, crying moments, etc...

A week ago a dgroupmate of mine left for States. I was both sad and happy. I'm kinda used to it. We've been praying for it for some time now. Good thing there's the technology of email and text message..."malayo man, malapit din" (sounds like a telecom commercial ü).

End of 1st quarter already. Our Japanese language teachers will be leaving us. Huhuhu. :( They will go to Japan for further studies. I will definitely miss them especially our grammar teacher. It's seldom to find caring teachers nowadays who are passionate in their profession.

I've been driving a car for more than a month now. And I've been learning some driving lessons... be alert, don't forget to look at the side mirrors before changing lanes, don't drive when you're hungry (most likely you'll be hot-tempered and impatient), always wear seatbelt and most of all put on a lot of patience (for pasaway na drivers and traffic jams). There are days when it's like "traffic-jam day". :) Well, I've thought of some things to do during traffic jam... play your favorite song and do some "karaoke" (with matching banging your head and tapping the steering wheel...never mind the people looking at you thinking you're crazy...hehe)... think of brilliant ideas...like "how can you save gas during heavy traffic?" (I thought of having a "Flintstones mode button" where you could stick out your legs on the ground and walk or run with your car during heavy traffic...isn't it gas-saving? hehe). Well, it was said that with great power comes great responsibility (hello, spiderman?). I just thought that being able to drive a car is some kind of a power so every person driving a car has responsibility... that is to drive safely. :)

I have some crying moments recently. The Bible says, "there's time for everything... a time to weep..." Anyway, God is indeed in control and keeps on encouraging us during difficult times. He is seldom early and never late. He encouraged me through Tommy Walker's "He Know My Name" especially the line... "he sees each tear that falls and hears me when I call." I was reminded of Psalm 56:8 "...You have kept a record of my tears..." During my crying moment I heard "Cry On My Shoulder" by Overflow being played over the radio...speaking of God's perfect timing...He's so sweet! :)

Speaking of timing... I'm having some rhinitis attacks lately. I don't know if this was caused by the pollens in the campus...I started to have rhinitis attacks when I was in college due to the pollens in our campus. I have frequent sneezing moments and itchy eyes. Well, I'm staying at home and enjoying my very short vacation. God has just some ways of saying things to us. :)

Let me just share this prayer I've read from a book...
Dear Lord, help me remember that my ways are not always Your ways. Life does not always unfold as I plan or imagine. Help me accept the imperfections, the changes, and the unexpected events that come into my life. Teach me to embrace what I am given, without wasting my time grieving for what might have been. Amen.

various

Exam

Since I left my work two months ago, I've been experiencing new things. Welcome adjustments! I got used to wake up earlier than my usual wake up time. I'm learning to stay awake for a total of 8-hour lecture a day. Adjusting to different personalities of my classmates is another thing. Driving to school is quite a challenge. And most of all, there are inevitable exams! It's like you want to sing James Ingram's "I did my best but my best wasn't good enough.." everytime the test results are posted on the bulletin board. It's like a famous movie title "Tinimbang ka ngunit kulang!" Hehe :) It's just that I thought about God. Thank God for all the new things He's giving me and all the lessons I'm learning from these. Good thing He's a good God. :) I just thought that life is just a series of exams (as what Rick Warren mentioned in The Purpose Driven Life). There are patience exam, love exam, faithfulness exam, kindness exam, etc. And I hope that I would past each and every exam. Hehe :)

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Traffic... Traffic... Traffic...

Patience is a virtue, so they say. Traffic is one of those "patience-busters". I'm getting used to this traffic but it never fails to trigger my not-so-long temper. Hehe :) This afternoon is the traffic-est of all. I tried every route going home from Diliman. Good thing I'm quite familiar with the alternate routes (thanks to our city atlas!). But... it's traffic everywhere! It took me about two hours to go home instead of the usual 1 hour ride. I thought of some wild ideas how to get home faster... I thought it would be better if there's a technology where I could make my car to a pocket-size one so I could put it in my pocket and I will just walk... or I wish there's a technology in the car where there's a button for wings and rocket (ala Back to the Future car!). Hay... I think I went home not losing my sanity thinking of ways to get home faster. Hehe :)

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Nihongo

If there's one subject I'm enjoying the most this quarter.... it's quite unexpected but it's my Japanese class every morning. Haha, I expected it to be difficult at first but so far I'm enjoying... So desu ka! I think there's a teacher factor also. I appreciate my Japanese language teachers. It's like I want to be a teacher also! Hehe :)

It's quite difficult and so my other subjects but... Ganbatte kudasai! :)

Arithmetic

ARITHMETIC
by Brooke Fraser

I've been staring at the sky tonight
Marvelling and passing time
Wondering what to do with daylight
Until I can make you mine
You are the one I want, you are the one I want

I've been thinking of changing my mind
It never stays the same for long
But of all the things I know for sure
You're the only certain one
You are the one I want, you are the one I want
I've been counting up all my wrongs
One sorry for each star
See I'd apologise my way to you
If the heavens stretched that far
You are the one I want, you are the one I want

[Chorus]
I won't find what I am looking for
If I only "see" by keeping score
'Cos I know now you are so much more than arithmetic

'Cos if I add, if I subtract
If I give it all, try to take some back
I've forgotten the freedom that comes from the fact
That you are the sum
So you are the oneI want
When the years are showing on my face
And my strongest days are gone
When my heart and flesh depart this place
From a life that sung your song

You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want
You'll still be the one I want

========================================

I'm not good in math but I like this song. It's been playing over The Edge Radio lately. It has a good melody and I can relate to some of the lines. :)

Snippets...

Ganbatte kudasai!

(Give it your best shot! / Do your best!) This is one of my favorite Japanese phrases these days. I’m sort of struggling in my studies lately. But it’s a humbling experience actually. On the edge of giving up already but ganbatte kudasai, jia you, aza! Philippians 4:13!!! :)

Entertaining other suitors

I think I’m entertaining other suitors…haha…it’s very unlikely of me to talk about this. You know, this guy captured my heart many years ago when I decided to follow him. But now it seems I’m entertaining suitors. Hmm…well, the phrase ‘entertaining other suitors’ came up from our American pastor’s preaching few Sundays ago. Got stuck on my head and been thinking about it. I like the description of being spoken for in the Christian life.

Here’s the last paragraph in the message’s summary in our chronicle…
“What divides our heart and keeps it from being Christ’s alone? Could fear, doubt or anxiety be His rivals? Or is it a favorite sin? Is there a relationship not pleasing to God that we refuse to give up? Is our heart chasing after money and material things? Are we holding on to our jobs, our positions, our titles? Is God the only owner of our heart? We who are in Christ may well declare that we are already spoken for, but it may also be that we are still entertaining other suitors in our life.”

I’m asking God lately, “Are you happy with me? Do I make you proud?”

Wanted: Superhero

I’ve been hearing about superheroes recently. I’ve been fascinated about real life heroes. Their stories never fail to inspire and encourage me. I’ve heard a good insight on the Superman Returns movie. Superman, in his conversation with Lois, said something like, “You said, the world doesn’t need Superman, but everyday I hear people crying for one.” It’s like the world today. People look ok on the outside but deep inside there’s a vacuum. Everyone needs a superhero… the “original Superman” (just like a title of a song I’ve heard)…he heals the sick, saves us from our sins, creator of the universe, knows all things and our superfriend…he is Jesus. All we need to do is ask for help and he will be there.

I remember a chorus of a song… I need you Jesus to come to my rescue / Where else can I go? / No other name by which I am saved / Would you capture me with grace? / I will follow you.

Hakuna matata

I found this phrase so intriguing when a friend mentioned it in a text message. Well, I know it’s from Disney’s The Lion King but I don’t really know its meaning. I found out it is a Swahili saying meaning “no worries”. Literally translated, it means “worries I have none.” In Timon and Pumbaa’s song “Hakuna matata”, it means “no worries for the rest of your days.” In simple terms, “don’t worry be happy.” I’m a bit of a “worrier” these days. Worried about what? About many things…about life. God is so amazing. He has creative ways to remind and encourage His children.

Who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own (Matthew 6:27, 33).

breaking the silence

It’s over a month now since my last blog entry. Now, I’m breaking the silence. Hehe.
There were just some “news” happening in my life recently. I decided to study again. A lot of adjustments and still adjusting… But I’m thankful I’m learning lessons in life (I hope!). I had faced some relatively “new” feelings… leaving people whom I got used to see for almost three years, the same morning route going to the office, the elevator to the 33rd floor, the magnificent view of the metro, awesome cloud formations and beautiful sunset, scattered rainshowers and thunderstorms also. Haha, am I getting sentimental here?!

Anyway, I’ll be spending a year ahead with new set of people, place and routine. I have to get up earlier than usual to avoid traffic jam on my way to school. I must say, no TV viewing already or (at least spend less time on it) because I have to study and read a lot. I think I was just looking for some challenges before and now I’m up against extra challenges. Hehe.

Kids say the “coolest” things?

I’m also back in helping in the Sunday School ministry of our church this Sunday. I was absent for three consecutive Sundays. I saw a big “Happy Moving Up Day!” sign at the floor’s lobby. Kids will move up a level higher starting this Sunday. It’s just like in regular school where kids become a level higher each year. This time, the teachers will also move up. It’s like first day of school when there are “misplaced” kids. It’s good to see kids who were your students before. Though it’s physically taxing to handle kindergarten kids, it’s a learning and rewarding experience. My co-teacher’s lesson was about Samson. She mentioned about the rule on Samson not to cut his hair. As I was helping my co-teacher reviews the lesson with the kids, a kid blurted out and told me, “but you cut your hair, teacher!” With all the kids looking at me, I just smiled and explained to the kid that I’m not Samson. Hehe. We have some free time after doing the crafts. Kids love to just run around the room and play with other kids. J (the same kid in my previous blog entry) wanted to ride my back (as if I were a horse). Since he’s relatively small, I agreed to be his horse. We played “horse” while we were waiting for his parents to pick him up. When his achi came to fetch him, I put him down. J told me, “horsey (referring to me), see you next week…babalik ako next week horsey ha!” Hay, kids have simple joys. Hehe.

Ronin

I’ve learned from my teacher last week about ronin. Ronin is the term used to refer to samurais who have no master. Those ronins usually committed hara-kiri to bring back their honor. The typical samurai has a master and he sees himself as dead already for his master that’s why he fights until death. Thoughts crossed my mind as my teacher continues to deliver his lecture. Thoughts of… “a chance to die”, “Christians have Jesus as their master so they are willing to lay down their lives”, “those people who are lost are like ronins”. It’s just amazing how God speaks to his people.

24 on 24

This year, my age is equal to the day of my birth. I think of it as a rare phenomenon. It’s like a solar eclipse, a meteor shower or man’s first step on the moon. Hehe. I’m thankful God has allowed me to see this beautiful world, meet beautiful people, and live a beautiful life. :) I just pray I will be able to accomplish His purpose for my life and live for His glory alone. I think I’m now living my life on the edge! :)

Speaking of THE EDGE, the long wait is over, THE EDGE is near… THE EDGE Radio will air over 91.5FM, 6pm-6am starting July 1, 2006. Thank God! (What a good belated birthday gift for me! Hehe) Let’s hang on THE EDGE! :)

J and K

Initials of my two cute students in Sunday School.

 

J is a chinito, cute, little 4-year-old boy.  K is long haired, chinita-like, girly 4-year-old kid.  They get along very well.  I think it's because their parents belong to same discipleship group so they got to spend time together aside from Sunday School.  We (the teachers) find them so cute as a couple.  They have their own world when they are seated together (which is quite a problem for us, teachers).  They have no care with their surroundings.  You could see their happy faces whenever they're together.  Perfect Picture!  Not until three Sundays ago when J came to class with his cousin, P.  J is such a picture of a gentleman in a boy's body.  He is so protective of P (just as he used to be with K).  He even fixed P's shoe laces.  Sweet guy!  At this time, you can see K was jealous.  She has a sad aura since then, not the usual bubbly and lively K.  Last Sunday, K came early for the class while J came late.  K has a sad face.  J's cousin, P, was not with him that Sunday.  The kids have free time after they're done with their crafts.  J went to K's table.  They chatted.  They giggled.  K's face lighted up.  J made fun of himself to entertain K.  Then their parents came to pick them up...

 

I wish I would know if they would end up together in the future!  :)

promise

People usually say, "promises are made to be broken".  Well, I have a high regard for promises.  I believe it has something to do with word of honor.  Though I break some of my promises from time to time, I try to remember all the promises I made to people.  O my, am I hinting people to remind me of the promises I made?  I think I should make a list, huh?  Or should I say, "some promises are made to be broken unintentionally"?  Hehe

 

Why this topic of promise?  Ah, it's just that I've been encountering this word for nth time in the past days.  Actually, I think 'promise' is a close cousin of 'remember'.  I was reminded that God remembers His covenants or promises.  He remembers specific requests of people...even the littlest requests.  He remembers what we do for Him.  With this in mind, I make a conscious effort to think twice or thrice before I ask a request to Him and before I do something.  God really remembers.  I remember Henry Blackaby's advice, "Oh Lord, if I ever give you a request and have more to give me than I am asking, cancel my request!"  So far I think I'm in this season in my life where God is remembering my requests.  Well, He always answers anyway, we just have to be ready when He answers.  I just pray that He'll cancel my requests if He has more to give me than I'm asking. hehe :)  But of course, there is a time element here... between the time I ask my request and the time God grants my request or in another case the time God made a promise and the fulfillment of the promise.  The term for that time element is wait.  Thank God, I'm learning the art of waiting.  There's really a lot of learnings from waiting... and not just learnings but also benefits. 

 

God keeps His promises to show His faithfulness.

i like this guy!

I first heard about this guy in the early 90's.  He's not really the kind of guy who's an eye-catcher...for me.  I remember I don't even like his hairstyle then.  But I admire him.  He's musically gifted and a family man.  Haha, before I create some confusions here, let me say that I'm speaking of Steven Curtis Chapman.  Well, he's coming here in Manila for a concert on May 7 and I can't wait to see him even only from a distance. hehe I hope he'll bring Shaohannah with him too :)  I'm not really a big fan of him but I think I'm getting there...hehe.  :)

 

Been thinking about my relationships lately...with God, family, friends and other people.  I think I'm not a 'social' type of person but thank God, He's been teaching me little by little about relationships... And it's one thing I've been reflecting about for the past week.  Quite emotional due to a series of circumstances.  I said goodbye to the office, feeling broken hearted thinking I'll be gone in a few weeks.  I've learned to love the place and the people.  Sigh.  I've heard sad news of death from people relatively close to my family.  Anyway, I remember the statement "life is all about relationships" in Rick Warren's Purpose Driven Life.  I also remember "there's a time for everything" in the book of Ecclesiastes.  By the way, I didn't see the meteor shower two weeks ago but I was able to watch the Steven Curtis Chapman special episode of 1Cubed.  God is so sweet, no one beats His sweetness, I won a CD in a text contest.  I think He's kinda cheering me up for my failure to see any meteor shower that morning. :) 

 

I got the CD yesterday -- Steven Curtis Chapman All About Love Album.  According to Steven, it's an album about God's gift of relationships, a celebration of love and relationships, that's it.  This could be a wonderful exclamation point to God's message to me for the week.  Steven is such a sweet guy, each song is like a musical love note to Mary Beth.  I think you're not being biased, Mary Beth, when you said that your husband is such a superb wordsmith!  I strongly agree.  What more can I say?  Hmm... I'm just enjoying my new CD for now.  Dear God, thank you for relationships -- such a wonderful gift! :)

 

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

I'm 23.  Nothing new.  I couldn't believe.  I just don't know.  I used to plan.  Seems so sure.  Not at all.  Can't understand.  Feel insignificant.  Useless.  Meaningless.  You think so?  Maybe.  I think so.  I don't know.  Walk away?  Escape?  Where?  Feeling down.  Seems so strange.  Why?  You're asking why?  Some sort of emotion swing.  Like mood swing?  Hmm..  Don't grow weary.  Hang on.  Press on.  Keep on keeping on.  It will pass.  Soon?  Soon.  You'll see.  I will see.

so why can't i turn off my radio?

i heard this line from a song i've heard on the radio these past few days.  i heard its tune again from my officemate's cellphone this morning.

 

hmm... nice question.  got a lot of info, good music, goodies and a chance of meeting great people from listening to radio. :)

 

i browsed the local radio stations this holy week.  i wish it's holy week every week!  how good it is to hear reflection thoughts or even Bible verses every hour in almost all radio stations that were on-air that time. :)

 

thank God for the inventor of radio!

scattered thoughts

weekend getaway
We went to batangas a weekend before holy week for my uncle’s birthday celebration. Though quite reluctant to go, I’ve learned not to trust my feelings all the time and besides I don’t want to be left alone in the house. I had a great time – not so much with the beach but with the scenery, my dad’s old camera, the night skies and the drive in the countryside (I’m just a relaxed passenger at the back!). hehe :) God is gracious!

song lines thoughts
“…and I won’t last a day without you”
I was one ride away from home one evening and was looking at the night sky when this song line popped in my mind. :) I remember it was not last song syndrome. I guess God was just reminding me that I won’t last a day without Him.

“could you be my number 2?”
An officemate of mine used to play this song teasing another officemate of mine that this song would make good background music for her long overdue wedding. I used to think that it’s not right for a guy to ask this question to a girl. But after a while, I think I would gladly say “yes” when a guy would ask me this question…if and only if he would say that Jesus is his number 1…hmm what a nice love triangle, huh? :)

honeybee attack, etc.
It started with what I thought was a harmless visit of a few honeybees in my mom’s little garden. Hay, maraming namamatay sa maling akala. Few honeybees became a colony! My mom tried to drive them away with fire but they keep on coming back. We’re not that sweet naman ha. :) Hopefully they were gone for good na. I was reminded by God’s stubborn love…even when we’re trying to drive him away most of the time, he never lets us go (without forcing himself to us). He’s just there patiently waiting for us.

Our pet animals are taking to heart God’s command to “go and multiply”. Our pet fish gave birth to three tiny fingerlings. And based on our observations, the mother fishes are on their way for nth fingerling(s). Our lady love bird is nursing a chick. Supposedly it should be two but the other one didn’t make it. While cleaning one of our windows, we found out cracked egg shells of lizard (I suppose, I’m not so sure). Hmm…I haven’t checked if we have new frog, butterfly, or even snake in our backyard. Hehe :)

How do you love me? Let me count the ways…
Well, sometimes I just forget to count the ways God is expressing his love for me… just want to thank Him for the weekend getaway, once in a while one-liner reminders, thoughts from circumstances and most of all for giving his one and only son, Jesus! :)

change

Butterfly

by Seven Day Jesus

 

You see me,

It's not me

It's something underneath my skin

I wanna tear it all away,

And show the beauty that's within

Begin to

Come unglued

And throw away the older me

Just give it time and then you'll see

 

CHORUS:

I wanna be a butterfly,

Flying in the sky

With you, today

I wanna lose this old cocoon

I wanna do it soon,

And fly away, away

 

So tired of always crawling up the tree

To fall back down again

This lovely place where I began

It's not the place I'm gonna end

Up so before you sum up all

The missing pieces from my head

There's so much further I can get

 

(Repeat CHORUS)

 

Your wind is underneath my wing

It carries me away

It's you, my God

That makes me sing

When I'm on my way

Change a little every day

 

(Repeat CHORUS)

 

You take what's old and make it new

So I can be with you,

And fly away, away

 

========================================

 

I attended a seminar two years ago on MIRACLE OF LIFE CHANGE by Chip Ingram.  I remembered he used the illustration of caterpillar turning into a butterfly when speaking about our spiritual life change.

 

Change... what an appropriate word... I wanna lose this old cocoon, I wanna do it soon and fly away, away.

 

 

6th month

Time flies so fast.  We're on the fourth month of the year already.  Well, today is my 6th month "extension" to this life.  Hehe...just can't forget that moment when I face the reality of death.  I wonder how well I'm doing with my extension.  I just hope I would be able to accomplish what God wants me to do.  :)

do you love me?

I asked him this question almost four years ago when nothing seems going right in my life.  Then I got the chance to reflect on this question in a retreat almost two years ago.  That time it was him asking me the same question.  Of course my answer was yes.  But then he asked me thrice.  I was hurt just like Peter (John 21:15-17).  Who wouldn't be hurt when the person you really love is doubting your love for him?  Suddenly, I stop and think deeply.  Do I really love him?  I mean, really love him and not his gifts...love him whatever it takes...love him when bad things happen.  Hmmm...

 

I was reminded again of this question last Sunday.  What is that one thing that keeps me from loving him with all of my heart?  2 Chronicles 16:9a says, "For the eyes of the LORD move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His."  May every piece of my heart be completely His.  :)

how's my love life?

Good question to ask for this week! :) 

 

Actually, I had a funny story to tell.  I was with a group last Monday night and we were sharing how our week was and what God has been teaching us for the past week.  I was sharing about what I've learned about "love" relationships when a friend asked, "so may love life ka pala?"  I confidently replied, "oo naman, may love life ako!"  He was shocked!  He even asked, "taga dito ba sya?"  It turned out that he thought that I was referring to a human being while I was speaking of my "love" relationship with God.  We had a good laugh! :)

 

I've been considering many things in life lately.  It seems that I want to do a lot of things.  As I was reading a book last night, or I mean, very early this morning, I came to a section "Whom do you love?"  Ah, love life again!  In that section, Mother Teresa was asked what they could pray for her.  She requested that her love for the poor would not eclipse her love for Jesus.  The word 'eclipse' jumped out of the page!  Well, what a timely reminder.  Whatever cause may motivate us, let this be our prayer: that NOTHING would eclipse our love for Jesus and that nothing would ever interrupt his love for people, love that Jesus desires to flow through us to others.

 

A lot of good things to do in life.  Maximus said in Gladiator, "What we do in life echoes in eternity."  Aha, I think I need some refocusing here.  Only one life will soon be past, only what's done for Christ will last.

simply love you

Simply Love You

by Ginny Owens

 

Seems that life's become so complicated

I don't think it was meant to be this way

I find myself so distracted

Caught up in the chaos of your day

 

When did I stop asking for your wisdom?

As if your words were meant for someone else

Why do I choose to second-guess you?

Oh I only frustrate and confuse myself

 

Chorus:

I just wanna love you, simply love you

The way it used to be

When your love was new to me

I just wanna love you, simply love you

To hear what you say and live every day

Like you asked me to

I just wanna simply love you

 

Many times you spoke of us as children

Childhood seems to me so long ago

You say I can trust you like I did then

If I give you my hand then you'll lead me home

 

(Chorus)

 

Oh...to fall on my knees

With the freshest belief

Stirred once again with the story

Of how you loved me

 

(Chorus)

 

-------------------------------------------------

 

simply said.  one of my new favorites lately.  plainly expresses what's in my heart these days.  :)

cry on my shoulder

Cry On My Shoulder
by Overflow

You say you're falling apart
Reached the end of the line
Just looking for your place in an ordinary life
No one calls you friend
No one even knows your name
You just want to feel loved instead of all the pain

You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

Chorus:
Come here and cry on my shoulder
I'll hold you till it's over
I'll rescue you tonight
Let my arms be your shelter
Your hiding place forever
I'll love you more than life

You're wearing a frown
Given up on hope
My heart is reaching out
More than you will ever know
Is your burden too much?
Is it more than you can bear?
I'll help carry the load if you're willing to share

Chorus

You no longer have to say
No one's listening anyway

You have had some hard times
Had thorns placed in your side
I know about what you've been going through
Tears of pain are falling down
It hurts so bad you're crying out
You're problems won't last forever
Let me put you back together

Chorus (2x)

==================================

God is reminding me of Matthew 11:28 and 1 Peter 5:7. He is our knight in shining armor. :)

do i miss him?

do i miss him?  do i miss his love letters?

these were the questions crossing my mind while waiting for the vesper service to start last night.  it seemed that i can't feel anything.  i don't know, maybe i was just tired and felt a certain pain in my right foot.  i've been quite busy the past few days.  for what?  i don't know.  but it's good to have a few minutes of solitude...being still and knowing my God.  i'm waiting.

i miss the moon. i haven't seen it lately.

i should miss him.  i should miss his love letters. :)

magmamahal ka ba...

magmamahal ka ba ng taong meron ng mahal na iba?

 

yan ang tanong na nakita ko sa TV nung isang gabi.  hmmm... napaisip tuloy ako. :)

 

naisip ko lang si God.  obvious na ang sagot nya ay "oo".  kahit si Job nga ay napatanong kay God ng "what is man that you are mindful of him?" kahit anong gawin mo, nandyan pa rin sya, naghihintay, nagmamahal.  naisip ko higit pa sa isang masugid na manliligaw si God, kahit saan ka magpunta, sinusundan ka, laging nakaalalay.  kahit hindi mo madalas pinapansin, nandyan lang at nakabantay. kahit may mahal kang iba, minsan nga paiba-iba pa, nag-aantay lang na bigyan mo sya ng panahon, hindi ka nya pinipilit.  naalala ko yung kanta ni Kathy Troccoli..."it's your stubborn love that never lets go of me, I don't understand how you can stay? perfect love embracing the worst in me, how I long for your stubborn love."  napapaisip ako ngayon, meron ba akong mahal sa ngayon na higit pa sa pagmamahal ko sa kanya?

 

hay, kamanghamanghang Dios!

for the love of him

I'm really amazed how love can do to people. It makes one does what seems to be impossible. King Solomon wrote in his songs, "for love is as strong as death". Countless Christians from history till the present have been risking their lives for Jesus' sake. This bold act of risking their own lives was driven by their love and devotion for their Savior.

I'm beginning to have a "love" affair with the moon. It brings a different "high" feeling whenever I see it on my way home. I have read that it's full moon on April 14. I have this growing fascination with the skies...makes my heart sings...Praise You God of earth and sky, How beautiful is Your unfailing love.

Lately, I have been planning to do a lot of things. I'm asking God what He wants me to do now. It's best if He has a go-signal. I've been reflecting about my life, my love and devotion for my Savior and a line of a hymn keeps on crossing my mind...I wonder have I done my best for Jesus, when He has done so much for me? :)

getting ready

An office mate sent a forwarded email with subject title "bus incident at ayala ave. last 03.13.2006 [mag-ingat sa pagtawid]".  The email contains pictures of a man lying in the middle of the road with his head flat (looks like deflated tire) and his brain on the road.  [sorry for those who are eating.]  Anyway, my office mate was trying to put a joke on us because he sent it few minutes before lunch time.  But seriously, he commented, "sana ready na yung soul nya...hindi mo talaga alam kung kailan ang oras mo." 

 

It's quite strange today in the office.  People are in their smart casual attire (though it is a company policy).  All the house lights are open, utility personnel are sweeping the floor and wiping the surfaces all the time, tables are neatly arranged, etc..  The occasion: We have "visitors" today.

 

My reflections for the past week were related to this...dwyl, getting ready, purpose of this God-given life that I have.

I was reminded again to be careful in crossing the streets (well, I just celebrated my street accident's 5th monthsary last week!).  I was reminded to be ready at all times...ready to share the hope that I have to others, ready to face God when my time comes.

 

I pray that God will find me faithful...someday, I hope to hear Him say, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" :)