I'm trying...

I did my best but I guess my best wasn’t good enough…

 

A popular line of a song, this is what I’m feeling right now.  I tried my best as much as possible to come early or even just on time for work.  I made it on time yesterday; actually it was a buzzer beater.  So this morning I tried to leave our house earlier than usual.  I just don’t know where in the world the terrible traffic that I’ve encountered came.  It’s like the roads were full of cars, trucks, tricycles and more people.  There was a long waiting line in the FX terminal.  How I just wish I had wings to fly! Hehehe…  I’m kind of having the “I don’t deserve this” attitude again.  Thankfully, God reminded me again on this.  While sitting on the back area of the FX in the middle of the traffic, I had some realizations.  One, God is in control.  I know He has purpose on this situation.  Two, God must have been teaching me about patience again.  (Is this Patience 301 class?! Hehehe!)  And lastly, I should not give up; I should keep on keeping on.  I’m feeling quite discouraged already.  I was thinking of going home.  Thank God, He saw me through!  I guess I’m starting a new class…this is Perseverance 101! Oh how I wish I would pass! =)

Lately I’ve been busy balancing time with work, church ministries, family, social life, and some volunteer work.  But it seems that I’m spending less time with the most important person in my life - my God.  Though I’m trying to give Him time, the time I spend is just like sending a text message to a friend.  It’s not even a phone call or a chat.  The other night while I was listening to NOW Radio, a chorus of a song touched or even pierced my heart.  It was as if God is singing the chorus to me…I miss my time with you, those moments together, I need to be with you each day, and it hurts me when you say you’re too busy, how can you serve me when your spirit is empty?  I don’t know what to say.

To my Redeemer, Savior and Friend

I failed You again

I won't make any excuses

For I am guilty again

I'm so sorry

I ask for Your mercy

I'll make it up to you

Oh Lord please bless me