I am looking for my heart.
What makes you come alive? What stirs your heart?
...in the heart of every man is a desparate desire for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.
Not every woman wants a battle to fight, but every woman yearns to be fought for. Every woman also wants an adventure to share. And finally, every woman wants to have a beauty to unveil.
Don't ask yourself what the world needs, ask yourself what makes you come alive because what the world needs are men who have come alive.
-- John Eldredge, Wild at Heart
I feel like my life is in some kind of a routine lately. I am getting bored. I just don't know.
Last Saturday on my way home after a church activity, I did something unusual to break the routine. I preferred a certain route on my way home - sort of a shortcut because I'm avoiding the heavy traffic in the main road. But that day there was no jeep on that particular route. There were tricycles but those have another route. Armed with my umbrella (it's drizzling that time), I decided to walk. It's quite a distance but I enjoyed my walking. The chorus of Chris Tomlin's Unfailing Love kept on playing in my mind...Praise You God of earth and sky, How beautiful is Your unfailing love, Unfailing love, And You never change, God, You remain, The Holy One my unfailing love, Unfailing love. When there was no one around I stole those moments to blurt out in singing. Good thing the rain didn't pour hard. :) I walked for about 15 minutes. I had a chance to reflect while walking. You can feel God's presence everywhere if you will just be aware of it. That night till the first few hours the following day (Sunday), I had a great time alone with God. In my reflective mood I browsed over my old books. Then I stumbled on those words by John Eldredge...I am looking for my heart. It seems to put into words the thing I'm feeling for quite some time now. There are still some things I have to settle with God. But God is really faithful when He said, "You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you." God's message preached by our American pastor yesterday was entitled "Getting Centered". What a timing! God is indeed speaking to me. We usually end our Sunday Worship service with a fast song but yesterday our pastor wanted it to end in a meditative slow song..."Heart of Worship". It's one of my favorites but its lyrics have come alive especially the lines...Longing just to bring something that's of worth that will bless Your heart...I'm coming back to the heart of worship and it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus. Since it's a matter of the heart I find the words of another song as my prayer...Purify my heart, cleanse me Lord, I pray, Remove from me all that is standing in the way of Your love.
I've been looking for a particular book since the beginning of the year. It's entitled, "A Chance to Die". It was out of print based from one source that I've asked before. I was about to give up my search for the book when God made a way for me to find a bookstore that has a lower price for special order of that book. I don't usually buy expensive books. It's been over a month now since I inquired about the book. The bookstore personnel told me then that it depends on the availability of the book in the market. So it was still not so sure. Thank God, after more than a month's time of waiting, I was able to hold the book yesterday (though there was a little price adjustment). I'm fascinated by real life heroes, history-makers and people who made a difference in this world. I'm also hoping this life of mine will count.
Jesus, I decide to live...live a life that shouts Your fame.
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